How to Influence Using Giving to Receive

(16419) Dave Lakhani says:

Look for little things you can give away as part of your persuasive efforts. The more unique the gift is, the more memorable it becomes and the greater the chances are it will be appreciated. Generic gifts are fine but collectible items — baseballs or color photos signed by celebrities for example — are even better. Quite simply when you give someone something memorable, they feel somewhat obligated to give you something in return, when is often their agreement to your proposal.

One of the tried and true ideas is to give people a free sample of your product or service. Or you might make a concession in a negotiation. Both of these gifts are good because the recipient won’t fall foul of any corporate guidelines forbidding them from accepting gifts of any kind.

How to Influence Using Likeability

(16418) Dave Lakhani says:

Most people want to do business with those they like rather than those organizations they dislike. It’s always much easier to accept ideas from someone you like as opposed to speaking with someone you feel complete indifference for.

Being likeable doesn’t mean being best friends with everyone you want to persuade. Instead, you simply have to be pleasant and comfortable to be around. You’re more likely to be likeable if:

You have some shared experiences

You hail from the same geographical area

You have similar interests and tastes

You’re well-spoken and refuse to share rumors

You’re knowledgeable and happy to share information

You use humor when appropriate to reduce tensions

You actively listen and participate in conversations

You share something personal to you

You’re a good conversationalist

You have high self-esteem

You’re in a good mood

It’s human nature to want to try and reward the people you like. To use this advantageously, work at accentuating the commonalities you share with those you’re trying to persuade.

How to Influence Using Inconsequence

(16417) Dave Lakhani says:

Popular wisdom states that the jouney of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The same is true of persuasion. To get people on your side, don’t try to get them to accept one big idea. Instead, get the other person to accept a whole lot of little ideas until his or her resistance to the big idea is reduced to a manageable size.

Inconsequence requires the small points agreed to or the small concessions made to lead to the big decision you want them to make. This is not a party trick where you get people to say yes to a bunch of things and then throw in a completely different idea you also want them to say yes to. Instead, you want to carefully select the most influential and easiest to accept idea first. Get the other person’s agreement on that point, and then others. By the time a final decision is required, it will be very easy for them to come to the appropriate conclusion.

In some ways, inconsequence is actually a covert persuasion tactic. It engages the feeling of accomplishment. Once a few points have been ironed out, and some minor agreements reached, it will feel good. Both you and the other person will feel like progress is being made. Rapport and friendship will increase because you’ll feel like you have something in common. On the basis of the fact that solutions have been found to a number of different aspects, the other party will feel like they are in reach of finalizing a solution to the bigger problem. There will be no desire on their part to revisit old points or go over old ground with someone new. This is the beauty of inconsequence as an influencer. The other person or people will be much less likely to want to restart the process with someone new when the promise of finalizing a solution is right on the horizon.

Persuasion: The Art of Getting What You Want

by Dave Lakhani (16400)

Persuasion is the art and science of getting exactly what you want. In its highest form, you use persuasive techniques to position yourself as an expert and to help other people get what they want. Persuasion can and must be used to create win-win situations for everyone involved. This is a key distinction between manipulation and persuasion. Manipulative techniques never result in a lasting relationship, whereas those relationships (business or personal) based on the use of persuasion tools do endure.

A look at the overall persuasive process is:

[ Position + Presentation ] X Influence = Persuasion

Persuasion truly is the art of getting what you want. Most of us throughout our lives have failed to reach the levels of success that we dreamed of, and not because it was not available to us. We have failed to reach those reasonable goals because we have failed to persuade those who can help us achieve them. And the biggest reason they will not help is because we have not asked them. People cannot help you achieve your dreams of success if they do not know they exist. But remember, as Zig Ziglar says, ‘You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.’ The art of persuasion is identifying what the people you are persuading want and helping them achieve it. Virtually every element of human interaction involves some level of persuasion.

–Dave Lakhani

Persuasion: The Art of Getting What You Want

How to Influence Using Empathy

(16416) Dave Lakhani says:

As a persuader, you naturally want people to identify with, relate to and understand your situation, feelings and motives. When people understand where you’re coming from, they’ll more than likely come to the same conclusion you have. To reach that level of empathy, the key is to use emotions.

The more emotional you can make the other party’s decision, and the more you can get them to relate to your ideas, the faster they will become empathetic. As you layer on top of your own experiences the experiences of others they like and respect, the people you’re persuading will become even more empathetic. Note, however, that you want the other person to feel empathy, not sympathy.

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